As a young girl growing up, not only would I dream of living somewhere warmer than Chicago (Georgia – check!), I would also dream endlessly about being both a mother and a published writer “someday.” There I was in my dream, fresh off a private plane from my warm-weather-state-not-Chicago-winter wearing a neon shirt and parachute pants signing books in front of lines a mile long outside every bookstore in the country, while my Jake Ryan look-alike husband stood by my side in all his sweater vest glory with our three adorable children. As any worthwhile dream made by any teenage girl in the 80’s, it of course included neon (and Jake Ryan).
I could literally taste this dream – it was so vivid and I wanted it so badly. And I dare say we’ve all had something so divinely planted within us that if at some point those seeds were not watered to grow, it would be as if a piece of us would shrivel up and die a little.
Thankfully, the dream of being a mother had come true for me, however it wasn’t until I faced something so heartbreaking and soul shaking as my divorce that I would finally pursue my dream of being a published author. I wanted others to not have to go through all the pain and devastation I had been through, so why not write the book I wished I would have had during my hard time? Luckily fate brought me a co-author with a similar divine seed planted, and the dream of being a published author grew and flourished as we were on our mission to help others make lemonade out of lemons.
But just like my dream of being a mother, little did I also know what getting published really meant. Or more importantly what being on a book tour really entailed (without Jake Ryan or private plane). Most people don’t. Not until you are standing knee deep in what you wished so badly for.
Four long years went into our book, The Ex-Wives’ Guide To Divorce, in order to see it come to life in all its hardback glory. Once a book is out, promoting your book is overwhelming. Then, if the organic lucky breaks come, as they did for us in the form of being featured in magazines, national tv programs, local tv affiliates, radio programs, book signings, and major newspapers like The New York Post and the Chicago Tribune to name a couple… Well, you just kind of pinch yourself. And if I’m being honest, you go about your same old I-walk-my-kid-to-school-every-day-without-wearing-makeup life most days in between the I-can’t-believe-this-is-really-happening-breathtaking-gratitude-filled moments. Because when a dream as big as mine finally does come true for you, well most times you come to understand your dream wasn’t just for you. It was for the benefit of helping others as well.
Then when the dream settles in (or the media tour stops) you breathe… Personally, in breathing I decided although I love sharing advice on divorce in order to help others, my focus has and always will be on moving forward. Forward personally means combining my single mom day-to-day with my love of traveling and writing, through my newest outlet, “Glimpses of Single Momdom.” Because for all of us, whether we are standing at the absolute bottom (where it most likely fell out) or on the peak of the highest mountain, we must move forward. We all have a choice in life to be bitter, or to be better… every single day with what life throws our way. So choose to be better every time, and I guarantee the dream will be someday come true.